Swedish religion part 2

Hey worshipers!

It's time for part 2 of our religion class. Last time you got to know about Odin, Thor and Freyja, and today we have three new Gods to tell you about.

Loki - was born a giant but died as a dwarf. He helped the Gods repeatedly and also performed minor chores in Valhalla but his betrayal was greater than Tiger Woods infidelity. He tricked the archer god, Höder, to kill the gay God Balder and therefor he was punished severely with snake venom in his eyes tied to some sort of equipment made of human parts. (Almost like what you can experience in any S&M club or suicide spa.) Swedes pray to Loki when they want clean spring water and clean and tidy homes, since he is the God of cleanliness.

Loki, Avicii & Carola

Avicii - is the Swedish God of music. He performs all around the world, preaching his message about bromance and fading into darkness. He was born from his fathers ear, which has made him sensitive to sounds and that's why he became the God of sounds and music. Because of his sensitive hearing, he preaches us to fade all sounds and that it's better to hang around guys, because of their lower voices.(Women has such high pitch voices that it only hurts you more that it pleases you.) He is so famous that he even worked with ABBA in the Eurovision.

Carola - The wind Goddess. Sweden is a very windy country and that's because we have a crazy Goddess, that when every time she opens her mouth, something bad will come out. Due to her never being quiet, you can be sure of always feeling the wind in your hair while visiting Sweden. To enhance her powers, you will never catch her without her huge fans. The good side of her is that if you get captured by her lovestorm, good things will happen to you. This is however very rare. She is one of the few gods that is Invincible.

Fika & Dalahäst

/Fab Life Sweden

Sweden rules the world

Dear inferior people of the world!

Once more, Sweden has proven to be the greatest country in the world. Last night the Swedish olympic team in figure skating with clubs and a puck won the World Championships. We out classed all other countries and left them in fear. The big final was against Spritzerland, famous for their cuckoo clocks and cheese.

Our Swedish vikings not only skated the best, they also looked the hottest and most fashionable of all the participators.

Swedish figure skating team

All of our Swedish Gods celebrated with the players last night so both Thor and Odin are a bit hungover today. (Read more about the Swedish Gods here).

You can send all your gifts and greetings to Fab Life Sweden, Gothenburg, Sweden as soon as possible so we can thank you in our blog.

Since we rule the world now it would be appropriate to kneel down when we meet. It's just common sense.

Fika & Dalahäst!

/Fab Life Sweden

Congratulation Norway

Dear Dancing Dingos!

Today is a very special day for all the Norwegians of the world (this got nothing to do with vegans) because it's their 4th of July. At the same time as the Norwegians celebrate this lovely day, it's a dark day for all of us in Sweden. Norway used to belong to Sweden but then it became self dependent thru a coin toss or something similar. All was peace and everybody was happy until someone discovered that Norway hold one of the largest oil deposits in the world. Now Norway is a rich country and Sweden is only fabulous because of us. That's not fair.

Every 17th of May, I wake up, feeling empty and poor and all I can think of is how much insane shopping I could be doing if we never had set Norway free.

So happy birthday, Norway and well don Sweden...

Fika & Dalahäst

Gretchen (& Daniel)

Typical Swedish weather

Howdy bitches!

If you're thinking of going to Sweden, you might wanna know a bit about the weather here. Therefor we want to inform you what the typical weather report looks like.

Today we have a temperature between -10°C and +18,5°C. The sun is shining with a few clouds blocking it. There's a chance of heavy storms blowing in from the south and/or snow coming from the north. If neither storms nor snow comes, be sure to carry an umbrella because there's a huge possibility that it will rain and/or hail instead.

Typical Swedish weather

So if you're thinking of coming to Sweden, don't get fooled by cheap flight tickets, because you're gonna have to pay a lot extra for your luggage since you need to pack winter jackets, bikinis, umbrellas, boots, sandals, rain coats and electric blankets. 10 kg is not enough for that shit, you need to pay at least like $1000 in overweight fees.


Fika & Dalahäst,

Daniel & Gretchen

Where have all the polar bears gone?

Hello world!

Today we celebrate the traditional polar bear-farewell-day. When spring comes to Sweden, all the polar bears leave the streets for hiding during the hot summer just like Anne Frank did hide from the germans during the Heimlich-maneuver-war.

We celebrate this very special day by racing on polar bears in the streets in every swedish town worth mentioning. Unfortunately this event is prohibited from photographing and therefor we can't show you any pictures from this massive spectacle. (We really tried to take some photos but a really old, smelly polar bear saw us and told the police. Our iPhones were confiscated and we are up for a trial in ten days. This must show how dedicated we are to share secret Swedish traditions to all you lovely followers around this tiny globe we plan to take over.)

The polar-snitch

Besides riding polar bears, we also drink a lot this special day. We always drink while celebrating something (anything) or just because it's a new day. It's our way of showing respect to the almighty Odin.

If you want to experience this holiday, you have to visit us in Sweden on April 22nd. We are available for a meet-and-greet if you let us know in advance.

Fika & Dalahäst

Gretchen & Daniel

The Swedish national animal

Hello dear world,

How are you today?


I'm sure you are all dying to get to know more about the fab life in Sweden, so today we're gonna make you all happy, bitches!

Here are some facts about Sweden's national animal:

The national animal of Sweden is actually a gay horse, called a "Dalahäst" (pronounced: daala-hest). You can tell it is gay from all the extravagant color-patterns all over its body.

No matter what house/farm/park you visit in Sweden, you can be sure to meet at least one of these gay horses. Swedes absolutely LOVE them!

Many straight people collect miniature versions of the Dalahäst, perhaps because they feel a bit gay themselves and a Dalahäst is the only item they can have, that looks homosexual, without starting a rumour of being queer themselves. (because it's our national animal).

So, there you have it. Sweden's national animal, the gay horse - Dalahäst.


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Fab Life Sweden, Daniel & Gretchen