Showing posts with label tradition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tradition. Show all posts

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Swedish Midsummer

Ciao bitches! 

This weekend is a Swedish holiday called "Midsummer", a two day celebration which consist of Midsummer Eve and Midsummer Day. Kind of like Christmas but without the snow and Jesus crap.

On this holiday, all the swedes leave town and go far out in the woods, mainly because all the pubs and shops are closed. In Sweden we can only buy alcohol at a particular shop, so the week before midsummer is chaotic at the alcohol stores. People stand in line for days to buy way to much beer and vodka. 

When we arrive in the woods, we crack open a beer and take a shot, and chop down trees to decorate our rooftops. We also make hats out of dead animals found in ditches. 

After that we eat raw fish out of glass jars and sing dirty songs. Between each bite, we take a shot, which results in people being more drunk than the average weekday. 

After "dinner" it comes naturally for us to dance exotic interpretive dances around a giant stripperpole that looks like an upside down penis made out of trees and flowers. 



As we do that, we also sing a song called: "Little frogs, little frogs, so funny to watch". To be a "frog" in Sweden is equivalent to being a whore. This particular holiday is the most common weekend to make babies with friends, strangers and/or siblings. That's why most swedes are born in March. 

But why do we celebrate Midsummer really, you might ask.

It's a celebration in honor of the liquor companies and making babies. That's what the giant upside down penis symbolizes. Penetrating the earth to create new life.

Beautiful, isn't it? 

Now take a shot, dance naked, make babies and have yourself a traditional Swedish week!


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Fab Life Sweden 



Monday, April 22, 2013

Religion in Sweden Part 1

Dear followers!

Today we are gonna talk about the Swedish Gods. Unlike the rest of the world that only believe in a guy in a dress named Jesus, we have a God for every occasion in Sweden.

Odin is the leader of the pack (well you shouldn't call the Gods a pack but since we are so famous we have gotten permission to do this) and he always wear black, since it's the number one color in fashion. He has got only one eye so he is really a traffic hazard but he doesn't drive that much since his eight-legged horse can both run and fly faster than any Volvo-car. He is the God of war and that's why most Swedes are a bit violent. (This has got nothing to do with our drinking habits, like in most other countries.)

Odin, Thor & Freyja (Kenza)
Thor is the god of thunder. He's got a huge hammer that he wields when the weather is bad. Most people doesn't know that he is the founder of the Swedish furniture company IKEA, since his hammer was the one to create the first book shelf ever made.

Freyja (aka Fracle (fashion oracle) and Kenza (Freyja)) is the Godess of fashion. There isn't a Swedish fashionista that doesn't try to keep up with the trends Freya creates. Design brands like H&M, Acne, Cheap Monday, Filippa K and WESC are all inspired by her immaculate taste.

To be continued...

Fika & Dalahäst

Daniel & Gretchen

Where have all the polar bears gone?

Hello world!

Today we celebrate the traditional polar bear-farewell-day. When spring comes to Sweden, all the polar bears leave the streets for hiding during the hot summer just like Anne Frank did hide from the germans during the Heimlich-maneuver-war.

We celebrate this very special day by racing on polar bears in the streets in every swedish town worth mentioning. Unfortunately this event is prohibited from photographing and therefor we can't show you any pictures from this massive spectacle. (We really tried to take some photos but a really old, smelly polar bear saw us and told the police. Our iPhones were confiscated and we are up for a trial in ten days. This must show how dedicated we are to share secret Swedish traditions to all you lovely followers around this tiny globe we plan to take over.)

The polar-snitch
Besides riding polar bears, we also drink a lot this special day. We always drink while celebrating something (anything) or just because it's a new day. It's our way of showing respect to the almighty Odin.

If you want to experience this holiday, you have to visit us in Sweden on April 22nd. We are available for a meet-and-greet if you let us know in advance.

Fika & Dalahäst

Gretchen & Daniel