Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Swedish Midsummer

Ciao bitches! 

This weekend is a Swedish holiday called "Midsummer", a two day celebration which consist of Midsummer Eve and Midsummer Day. Kind of like Christmas but without the snow and Jesus crap.

On this holiday, all the swedes leave town and go far out in the woods, mainly because all the pubs and shops are closed. In Sweden we can only buy alcohol at a particular shop, so the week before midsummer is chaotic at the alcohol stores. People stand in line for days to buy way to much beer and vodka. 

When we arrive in the woods, we crack open a beer and take a shot, and chop down trees to decorate our rooftops. We also make hats out of dead animals found in ditches. 

After that we eat raw fish out of glass jars and sing dirty songs. Between each bite, we take a shot, which results in people being more drunk than the average weekday. 

After "dinner" it comes naturally for us to dance exotic interpretive dances around a giant stripperpole that looks like an upside down penis made out of trees and flowers. 



As we do that, we also sing a song called: "Little frogs, little frogs, so funny to watch". To be a "frog" in Sweden is equivalent to being a whore. This particular holiday is the most common weekend to make babies with friends, strangers and/or siblings. That's why most swedes are born in March. 

But why do we celebrate Midsummer really, you might ask.

It's a celebration in honor of the liquor companies and making babies. That's what the giant upside down penis symbolizes. Penetrating the earth to create new life.

Beautiful, isn't it? 

Now take a shot, dance naked, make babies and have yourself a traditional Swedish week!


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Fab Life Sweden 



Friday, May 17, 2013

Congratulation Norway

Dear Dancing Dingos!

Today is a very special day for all the Norwegians of the world (this got nothing to do with vegans) because it's their 4th of July. At the same time as the Norwegians celebrate this lovely day, it's a dark day for all of us in Sweden. Norway used to belong to Sweden but then it became self dependent thru a coin toss or something similar. All was peace and everybody was happy until someone discovered that Norway hold one of the largest oil deposits in the world. Now Norway is a rich country and Sweden is only fabulous because of us. That's not fair.


Every 17th of May, I wake up, feeling empty and poor and all I can think of is how much insane shopping I could be doing if we never had set Norway free.

So happy birthday, Norway and well don Sweden...

Fika & Dalahäst

Gretchen (& Daniel)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A day to get drunk and have sex

Ciao party-people!

Today is yet another Swedish holiday called "Valborg" (pronounced: Vaal-borgh).

It's a day when you light up a huge fire to scare away pussies, drink as much as you can (until you pass out) and have sex outdoors.

Many people choose this day to lose their virginity in some random bush or behind a tree/car, with practically anyone who asks.

On this day, getting drunk as fuck is as natural as eating dinner..!

So, if you wanna experience some heavy partying and/or just lose your virginity, go to any Swedish town/park/wherever on April 30th.

Fika & Dalahäst,
/Daniel and Gretchen

Monday, April 22, 2013

Where have all the polar bears gone?

Hello world!

Today we celebrate the traditional polar bear-farewell-day. When spring comes to Sweden, all the polar bears leave the streets for hiding during the hot summer just like Anne Frank did hide from the germans during the Heimlich-maneuver-war.

We celebrate this very special day by racing on polar bears in the streets in every swedish town worth mentioning. Unfortunately this event is prohibited from photographing and therefor we can't show you any pictures from this massive spectacle. (We really tried to take some photos but a really old, smelly polar bear saw us and told the police. Our iPhones were confiscated and we are up for a trial in ten days. This must show how dedicated we are to share secret Swedish traditions to all you lovely followers around this tiny globe we plan to take over.)

The polar-snitch
Besides riding polar bears, we also drink a lot this special day. We always drink while celebrating something (anything) or just because it's a new day. It's our way of showing respect to the almighty Odin.

If you want to experience this holiday, you have to visit us in Sweden on April 22nd. We are available for a meet-and-greet if you let us know in advance.

Fika & Dalahäst

Gretchen & Daniel