Swedish religion part 2

Hey worshipers!

It's time for part 2 of our religion class. Last time you got to know about Odin, Thor and Freyja, and today we have three new Gods to tell you about.

Loki - was born a giant but died as a dwarf. He helped the Gods repeatedly and also performed minor chores in Valhalla but his betrayal was greater than Tiger Woods infidelity. He tricked the archer god, Höder, to kill the gay God Balder and therefor he was punished severely with snake venom in his eyes tied to some sort of equipment made of human parts. (Almost like what you can experience in any S&M club or suicide spa.) Swedes pray to Loki when they want clean spring water and clean and tidy homes, since he is the God of cleanliness.

Loki, Avicii & Carola

Avicii - is the Swedish God of music. He performs all around the world, preaching his message about bromance and fading into darkness. He was born from his fathers ear, which has made him sensitive to sounds and that's why he became the God of sounds and music. Because of his sensitive hearing, he preaches us to fade all sounds and that it's better to hang around guys, because of their lower voices.(Women has such high pitch voices that it only hurts you more that it pleases you.) He is so famous that he even worked with ABBA in the Eurovision.

Carola - The wind Goddess. Sweden is a very windy country and that's because we have a crazy Goddess, that when every time she opens her mouth, something bad will come out. Due to her never being quiet, you can be sure of always feeling the wind in your hair while visiting Sweden. To enhance her powers, you will never catch her without her huge fans. The good side of her is that if you get captured by her lovestorm, good things will happen to you. This is however very rare. She is one of the few gods that is Invincible.

Fika & Dalahäst

/Fab Life Sweden

Sweden rules the world

Dear inferior people of the world!

Once more, Sweden has proven to be the greatest country in the world. Last night the Swedish olympic team in figure skating with clubs and a puck won the World Championships. We out classed all other countries and left them in fear. The big final was against Spritzerland, famous for their cuckoo clocks and cheese.

Our Swedish vikings not only skated the best, they also looked the hottest and most fashionable of all the participators.

Swedish figure skating team

All of our Swedish Gods celebrated with the players last night so both Thor and Odin are a bit hungover today. (Read more about the Swedish Gods here).

You can send all your gifts and greetings to Fab Life Sweden, Gothenburg, Sweden as soon as possible so we can thank you in our blog.

Since we rule the world now it would be appropriate to kneel down when we meet. It's just common sense.

Fika & Dalahäst!

/Fab Life Sweden

Religion in Sweden Part 1

Dear followers!

Today we are gonna talk about the Swedish Gods. Unlike the rest of the world that only believe in a guy in a dress named Jesus, we have a God for every occasion in Sweden.

Odin is the leader of the pack (well you shouldn't call the Gods a pack but since we are so famous we have gotten permission to do this) and he always wear black, since it's the number one color in fashion. He has got only one eye so he is really a traffic hazard but he doesn't drive that much since his eight-legged horse can both run and fly faster than any Volvo-car. He is the God of war and that's why most Swedes are a bit violent. (This has got nothing to do with our drinking habits, like in most other countries.)

Odin, Thor & Freyja (Kenza)

Thor is the god of thunder. He's got a huge hammer that he wields when the weather is bad. Most people doesn't know that he is the founder of the Swedish furniture company IKEA, since his hammer was the one to create the first book shelf ever made.

Freyja (aka Fracle (fashion oracle) and Kenza (Freyja)) is the Godess of fashion. There isn't a Swedish fashionista that doesn't try to keep up with the trends Freya creates. Design brands like H&M, Acne, Cheap Monday, Filippa K and WESC are all inspired by her immaculate taste.

To be continued...

Fika & Dalahäst

Daniel & Gretchen