In Sweden there's a lot of emo-kids, which they say stand for "emotional" but I call bullshit on that. One half are gay guys that want to use make-up and dress like a girl. The other half is suicidal teens, wishing everyday could be Halloween.
Now, not many people actually kill themselves because they:
A) Don't really want to, they just want attention.
B) They are too afraid to do it alone.
We have thought of a solution to this problem, and that is to open up a "Death Spa & Resort"!
At this spa, people can book treatments such as:
• Enema, so you don't shit your favorite designer undies when your last breath is taken.
• Broken-glass-jacuzzi.
• 800° sauna.
• Full body massage by Edward Scissorhands.
• Piranha hot tub.
Or if you're not the spa-type you can try the bar instead. They serve a variation of rat-poison-wine-coolers, cyanide-shots and acid-coladas.
Welcome to the Death Spa & Resort, soon in your hometown!
Fika & Dalahäst,
/Daniel & Gretchen
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