A day to get drunk and have sex

Ciao party-people!

Today is yet another Swedish holiday called "Valborg" (pronounced: Vaal-borgh).

It's a day when you light up a huge fire to scare away pussies, drink as much as you can (until you pass out) and have sex outdoors.

Many people choose this day to lose their virginity in some random bush or behind a tree/car, with practically anyone who asks.

On this day, getting drunk as fuck is as natural as eating dinner..!

So, if you wanna experience some heavy partying and/or just lose your virginity, go to any Swedish town/park/wherever on April 30th.

Fika & Dalahäst,
/Daniel and Gretchen

Daniel works his magic

Hey weirdos!

I'm gonna show you something you've never seen before. Some serious mind powers going on.
Your mind = blown


Don't try this at home, kiddos!!


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Daniel, FabLifeSweden

Daniel's outfit

Hello homos, lesbos and other people!

This is a favorite outfit of mine from a while back. It's a pair of simple white boxerbriefs with blue mesh fabric on the sides. To make it more fashion forward, I chose to match it up with a white blazer, a baby-blue snapback and a pair of awesome sunglasses.

Don't I look amazing?!


Fika & Dalahäst,


/Daniel

Death Spa & Resort

Hi emo-kids!

In Sweden there's a lot of emo-kids, which they say stand for "emotional" but I call bullshit on that. One half are gay guys that want to use make-up and dress like a girl. The other half is suicidal teens, wishing everyday could be Halloween.

Now, not many people actually kill themselves because they:

A) Don't really want to, they just want attention.

B) They are too afraid to do it alone.

We have thought of a solution to this problem, and that is to open up a "Death Spa & Resort"!

At this spa, people can book treatments such as:

• Enema, so you don't shit your favorite designer undies when your last breath is taken.

• Broken-glass-jacuzzi.

• 800° sauna.

• Full body massage by Edward Scissorhands.

• Piranha hot tub.

Or if you're not the spa-type you can try the bar instead. They serve a variation of rat-poison-wine-coolers, cyanide-shots and acid-coladas.

Welcome to the Death Spa & Resort, soon in your hometown!



Fika & Dalahäst,

/Daniel & Gretchen

Fab Life Sweden goes Dirty Dancing

Hi there, people of the world!

This is a short clip of us, rehearsing for the musical version of "Dirty Dancing". It was a great success and people loved us (of course). Feel free to share and comment, so that we might love you back!

We look totally fabulous, we know. 

Fika & Dalahäst!

/Gretchen & Daniel, FabLifeSweden

Typical Swedish weather

Howdy bitches!

If you're thinking of going to Sweden, you might wanna know a bit about the weather here. Therefor we want to inform you what the typical weather report looks like.

Today we have a temperature between -10°C and +18,5°C. The sun is shining with a few clouds blocking it. There's a chance of heavy storms blowing in from the south and/or snow coming from the north. If neither storms nor snow comes, be sure to carry an umbrella because there's a huge possibility that it will rain and/or hail instead.

Typical Swedish weather

So if you're thinking of coming to Sweden, don't get fooled by cheap flight tickets, because you're gonna have to pay a lot extra for your luggage since you need to pack winter jackets, bikinis, umbrellas, boots, sandals, rain coats and electric blankets. 10 kg is not enough for that shit, you need to pay at least like $1000 in overweight fees.


Fika & Dalahäst,

Daniel & Gretchen

Religion in Sweden Part 1

Dear followers!

Today we are gonna talk about the Swedish Gods. Unlike the rest of the world that only believe in a guy in a dress named Jesus, we have a God for every occasion in Sweden.

Odin is the leader of the pack (well you shouldn't call the Gods a pack but since we are so famous we have gotten permission to do this) and he always wear black, since it's the number one color in fashion. He has got only one eye so he is really a traffic hazard but he doesn't drive that much since his eight-legged horse can both run and fly faster than any Volvo-car. He is the God of war and that's why most Swedes are a bit violent. (This has got nothing to do with our drinking habits, like in most other countries.)

Odin, Thor & Freyja (Kenza)

Thor is the god of thunder. He's got a huge hammer that he wields when the weather is bad. Most people doesn't know that he is the founder of the Swedish furniture company IKEA, since his hammer was the one to create the first book shelf ever made.

Freyja (aka Fracle (fashion oracle) and Kenza (Freyja)) is the Godess of fashion. There isn't a Swedish fashionista that doesn't try to keep up with the trends Freya creates. Design brands like H&M, Acne, Cheap Monday, Filippa K and WESC are all inspired by her immaculate taste.

To be continued...

Fika & Dalahäst

Daniel & Gretchen

Where have all the polar bears gone?

Hello world!

Today we celebrate the traditional polar bear-farewell-day. When spring comes to Sweden, all the polar bears leave the streets for hiding during the hot summer just like Anne Frank did hide from the germans during the Heimlich-maneuver-war.

We celebrate this very special day by racing on polar bears in the streets in every swedish town worth mentioning. Unfortunately this event is prohibited from photographing and therefor we can't show you any pictures from this massive spectacle. (We really tried to take some photos but a really old, smelly polar bear saw us and told the police. Our iPhones were confiscated and we are up for a trial in ten days. This must show how dedicated we are to share secret Swedish traditions to all you lovely followers around this tiny globe we plan to take over.)

The polar-snitch

Besides riding polar bears, we also drink a lot this special day. We always drink while celebrating something (anything) or just because it's a new day. It's our way of showing respect to the almighty Odin.

If you want to experience this holiday, you have to visit us in Sweden on April 22nd. We are available for a meet-and-greet if you let us know in advance.

Fika & Dalahäst

Gretchen & Daniel

Gretchen sings Abba

Hi music lovers!

In Sweden we're only allowed to listen to Abba when it comes to music, so here's me singing one of our national anthems. Enjoy and remember that sharing is caring so feel free to spread it to your friends like a whore spreads herpes during spring break.

A famous music producer once said that I've got a voice that can raise the dead. What do you think?

Abba

Fika & Dalahäst!

/Gretchen, FabLifeSweden

The Swedish national animal

Hello dear world,

How are you today?


I'm sure you are all dying to get to know more about the fab life in Sweden, so today we're gonna make you all happy, bitches!

Here are some facts about Sweden's national animal:

The national animal of Sweden is actually a gay horse, called a "Dalahäst" (pronounced: daala-hest). You can tell it is gay from all the extravagant color-patterns all over its body.

No matter what house/farm/park you visit in Sweden, you can be sure to meet at least one of these gay horses. Swedes absolutely LOVE them!

Many straight people collect miniature versions of the Dalahäst, perhaps because they feel a bit gay themselves and a Dalahäst is the only item they can have, that looks homosexual, without starting a rumour of being queer themselves. (because it's our national animal).

So, there you have it. Sweden's national animal, the gay horse - Dalahäst.


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Fab Life Sweden, Daniel & Gretchen

I am Gretchen

Dear minions!

I'm finally here to enlighten you about myself. Since Daniel was first out, I consider him like a warm-up DJ before the main attraction: Me

I am a living legend in Northern Europe and since I'm not only beautiful, but smart and talented as well, I get a lot of different assignments around the globe. I'm foremost known for my DJ:ing skills but that is something I just do to make people happy (and poor, since I'm very expensive).

Since I work a lot in the celebrity business, I try to always look my best and coolest. I love fashion since the day i shot my first polar bear and made a thong of its' fur.  Ever since that day, I have an urge to get dressed every single day. How many of you can say that?

On this page me and the naked one (Danny), will teach the world about swedish celebrity life style and traditions, Like little frogs, Valkyrie burning, polar bear racing day and a lot of other things.

Fika & Dalahäst

/Gretchen

Photoshoot Sneak Peak

Hello, hi stalkers!

Today I had a great photoshoot with a famous Swedish photographer. His name is Jonas Norén and he has shot a lot of hot people, now including me!

I looked super-sexy and he sure did a good job pushing his button. You know, on the camera...

I truly felt like the star I am.

Now I really need some beauty sleep, getting tattooed tomorrow. Again.
In the meantime, you can enjoy these "behind the scenes"-shots. Sexy, huh?


Fika & Dalahäst,


/Daniel

Underwear love

Hi fans!

This is Daniel writing, as you might understand since there's a picture of me.

I thought an underwear pic would be the perfect way to lose this blog's virginity.

The picture is from a photoshoot I did for "Toot" underwear. They just don't know about it. But that doesn't bother me. I'm hot.

Anyway, they are very comfortable and the design is really trendy, which is always an important thing to think about when you buy new underwear. Looks and design is actually more important than comfort (duh) and that doesn't just apply to underwear, but any kind of clothing or accessory. Take notes!

What do you guys think?


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Daniel

We are Fab Life Sweden

Hello Dingos!

Daniel & Gretchen

We are Daniel and Gretchen and this is our introduction video and we hope that you will enjoy watching it just as much as we did making it.

To watch at youtube, FabLifeSweden Youtube

Fika & Dalahäst


/Gretchen & Daniel