Saturday, June 22, 2013

Swedish Midsummer

Ciao bitches! 

This weekend is a Swedish holiday called "Midsummer", a two day celebration which consist of Midsummer Eve and Midsummer Day. Kind of like Christmas but without the snow and Jesus crap.

On this holiday, all the swedes leave town and go far out in the woods, mainly because all the pubs and shops are closed. In Sweden we can only buy alcohol at a particular shop, so the week before midsummer is chaotic at the alcohol stores. People stand in line for days to buy way to much beer and vodka. 

When we arrive in the woods, we crack open a beer and take a shot, and chop down trees to decorate our rooftops. We also make hats out of dead animals found in ditches. 

After that we eat raw fish out of glass jars and sing dirty songs. Between each bite, we take a shot, which results in people being more drunk than the average weekday. 

After "dinner" it comes naturally for us to dance exotic interpretive dances around a giant stripperpole that looks like an upside down penis made out of trees and flowers. 



As we do that, we also sing a song called: "Little frogs, little frogs, so funny to watch". To be a "frog" in Sweden is equivalent to being a whore. This particular holiday is the most common weekend to make babies with friends, strangers and/or siblings. That's why most swedes are born in March. 

But why do we celebrate Midsummer really, you might ask.

It's a celebration in honor of the liquor companies and making babies. That's what the giant upside down penis symbolizes. Penetrating the earth to create new life.

Beautiful, isn't it? 

Now take a shot, dance naked, make babies and have yourself a traditional Swedish week!


Fika & Dalahäst,

/Fab Life Sweden 



Friday, June 14, 2013

Why do lesbians want to look ugly?

Dear reader!

Today I met a lesbian in the street and she scared me. Why, you might ask? Well, she was quite large (something we are severely appalled by in Sweden since most of us are very skinny), covered in piercing a and with green highlights in her hair. 


That made me think about why anyone wants to do that to themselves? I mean this girl could look really pretty if she list some weight, removed half of her piercings and got a different hair cut. Mascara and lipgloss wouldn't have killed her either to be honest. 

I was equally appalled and chocked because in my world we always try to look our best and therefor I expect for everyone else to do the same. 

If you are a lesbian and if you do look ugly, can you please explain why you do it?

Looking forward to reading your answers.

Fika & Dalahäst

/Gretchen for Fab Life Sweden

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

New sex-trend in Asia

Hello dear world!

In the Swedish newspaper today, there was an article about a new sex-trend in Japan. Now, everybody knows Asians are both amazing and fashion forward, but they also do the strangest things, like throw babies on people and eat their pets. 

So this new sex-trend has made youths all over Japan cover their eyes. Literally. So, what could it be, that is weirder than the rest of the things Japanese people do?

- They lick each others eyeballs. 


It's supposedly a turn on amongst young people and has left a lot of them with redness and infections in the eye. 

In Sweden, we think that's bizarre and would never ever even think of doing something like that. We go straight for the ears. That's sexy.

Would you ever lick someone's eyeball, and who's eyeball would you wanna lick?



Fika & Dalahäst,

/Fab Life Sweden 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Girls just want to have fun

Tja, tja Bloggen! Puss i ljumsken! /Gretchen  That's swedish for I'm awesome and you're not!



Fika & Dalahäst!

/Fab Life Sweden

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Fashion Show

Dear rest of the world.

Gretchen & Daniel at local fashion show


This sunday we starred a fashion runway show here in Gothenburg, Sweden and we rocked the runway. All clothes and shoes comes from Shock so be sure to check out their web shop.


Aren't we fierce?

Fika and Dalahäst!

/Fab Life Sweden